A Cooking Blog?

I have to post this story from a blog I read because it made me laugh out loud.

There are only three reason why I would rip the shirt off my body in public:

1.  If a kitten were on fire and I needed to smother him, put him out, cuddle him, give him food, and make him mine forever.

2.  If I discovered a bee… a ferocious, man-eating bee, down my shirt.

3.  If a handsome young fireman needed my shirt to wipe his sweaty brow after saving a grandmother and her fluffy orange cat from the top of a burning tree.  But even then… I’d make the fireman take his shirt off first.  I have standards.

Yesterday, I ripped my shirt off in a spazzy, screaming fit on Main Street in Santa Monica.  There was no kitten nor fireman in sight.  There was a bee down my shirt.  A live bee… buzzing down my shirt.  Standing in front of a bike shop and across the street from a busy cafe, I full on FREAKED OUT and tore my shirt off my body.  There was also FREAK OUT screaming involved.   Then I spent another agonizing ten seconds trying to brush the bee off my body with the shirt I was supposed to be wearing.

Then I was just standing there… on the street… shirtless… in my ugly bra… the one that looks like my grandma’s sportsbra.  I just stood there, holding my shirt and staring squarely at the ground… at the bee struggling to walk away… at the bee that had rendered me shirtless.  I knew that if I looked up from the ground I would be mortified times one million.

As I’m struggling with the sleeves, trying to get my shirt back on… I see a pair of feet stroll past me.  I didn’t see one of those red tipped seeing eye sticks, so this person was clearly a seeing person.  A witness.  Ok. Carry on.

My sleeves were all wonky, I couldn’t button my shirt inside out.  I was a hot mess… so I had to take my shirt off (again!) invert the spazzy sleeves and put my shirt back on.  That’s twice that I’ve taken my top off… Enough!

I never did look up from the ground.  I never did blush.  I did, however, want to dig a whole through the concrete and tunnel home instead of putting my shirt back on and riding home.  But that’s just what I did. 

And if anyone was pointing and laughing… well, I guess I can’t blame them.  I was quite the site.

Lessons were learned.  Always wear a cute bra.

This is actually a cooking blog that I love.  Her name is Joy, which I love.  The blog is joythebaker.com and if you go to Meet Joy at the top there's a recipe for Chocolate Peanut Butter Pretzel Brownies that I'm dying to try.  If you go to the Recipe Index it starts with Breads, Breakfast (which includes things like chocolate glazed baked doughnut muffins), Cakes, Chocolate, Cookies, Creamy, and Cupcakes....and also includes large sections on Frozen, Holiday, Snacks, and Sweets....which I love!  I recommend a visit.

Oh, and she has a cute cat named Jules Stevens, which I love.